Be Present

Annotation Post based on The Vacation by Wendell Berry

Be present

                Ferris Bueller once said, “Life moves pretty fast. You don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” In “The Vacation,” Wendell Berry not only “describes a video camera as an objective narrative instrument (6),” but he alludes to the idea that using such an apparatus can be limiting and restraining; preventing one from truly grasping the fullness of life.

                In “The Vacation,” Wendell Berry tells a story about a man who is only able to see his vacation through the lens of his video camera. Essentially, the man is try to “preserve his vacation.” He is trying to capture every aspect of it: the trees, the river, the sky, the light, the bow of his rushing boat (6).” He is using his camera as a means to capture every moment so that once the vacation is over he will still be able to relive the memories. Yet, the last two lines of the poem take an interesting turn, saying, “ But he would not be in it. He would never be in it.” Personally, I believe Berry uses this poem to remind people to live in the moment. As a famous quote says, “ Wherever you are, be all there.” While it is important to document important aspects of life so that memories can be made, it is equally important to learn to simply be present; to learn to live in the moment and soak up all life has to offer without having to incessantly be taking pictures or constantly filming or documenting the scene at hand (2).

                In order to better understand the meaning and intent of the poem, certain words  such as vacation, preserving, video camera, and flying were more clearly defined. Specifically, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, the word vacation means- “freedom, release, or rest from some occupation, business, or activity (1).” Not only was the man supposed to be on vacation, but the second line of the poem says, “He went flying down the river in his boat.” According to dictionary.com, the word flying means, “ making flight or passing through the air, moving swiftly, very hasty or brief (3).” The word preserving is mentioned twice in the poem, in lines eight and eleven. The word preserve, taken from the phrases “preserving it forever: the river, the trees, the sky, the light, the bow of his rushing boat…” and “preserving his vacation even as he was having it so that after he had had it he would still have it,” means “to protect or save from( injury, sickness, or any undesirable eventuality (1).”  Lastly, the word video camera means, “a portable, handheld camera that records onto videotape for playback, especially on a television screen.”

                It seems like Berry displays irony purely by the entitling the poem, “The Vacation.” Since the man is constantly videoing the entire vacation, is he really gaining rest from his occupation, business, or other activity? Is he really on a vacation if he is only able to enjoy moments that are within the scope of his video camera? Even though a video camera is able to record moments on videotape so as to play them back later, the video camera can only capture so much. One is not able to fully see all that is going on if one is looking only through a camera. Thus, your field of view is limited. It is not necessarily freeing or restful from an occupation. How can it be a vacation? Furthermore, if he is flying down the river on his boat, how much of a vacation can you capture? How can you fully appreciate the beauty of the trees, river, sky, and light if you are flying by?

                The means of transportation used in the poem is a boat. Interestingly, a boat “represents a journey, a crossing, adventure, and exploration (4).” Crossing an ocean or river can be seen as being symbolic of making the journey across life (4). Thus, a boat can be viewed as the means in which the journey of life is travelled. In essence, it can be viewed as a vehicle and means of transportation (4). So we have the man travelling on a boat down a river with “his video camera to his eye” trying to preserve his vacation forever. The word preserve is important to consider because Berry mentions it twice. The man is trying to protect or save every moment of his vacation. He is trying to prevent any undesirable thing from happening. He is trying to “maintain and reserve, to keep up; to maintain (5),” every moment of his vacation so that not a moment is lost. However, it is in his haste, furry, and intent on documenting every moment that he is missing out on the actual experience. He is not fully able to enjoy all the beauties and mysteries around him because he is so intent on filming and attempting to document every detail. The concept of trying to preserve a moment or experience reminds me of a popular saying of Jesus in Matthew: “ For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.”

                While it is important to document and take time to note important experiences, it is even more important to learn to enjoy every moment of every day; to learn what it means to slow down and feel the sunshine on our faces, to not be in such a hurry, and to not limit our field of view. If we only look through a small lens, how are we to ever enjoy the beauty of things that are beyond its scope? The things that are unable to be captured by a camera? The vastness and incomparable beauty of a sunset, mountain range, ocean? If one does not take time to do things that are out of our comfort zone, to slow down, to remove our eyes from the peep hole, and get out of the boat, how will we every experience all the complexities, beauties, and mysteries of life?

                It is imperative to consider the word choice, setting, and reoccurring themes of this short poem to fully understand its significance. The setting of being in a boat, on a river, flying by, with his eyes zoned in on the camera- all reflect the limited view and experience this man was having on “vacation.” As mentioned above, a boat represents an adventure or exploration, or a means to further pursue an adventure. Why not get out of the boat to take a hike in the woods? To explore a new option? To put the camera down and let go of technology and all the other distractions that steal our attention? Unfortunately, the man is unable to embrace the full potential of the experience because he is flying down the river. How do our lives compare to this man? As an American society, we are constantly racing around, trying to cram fifty things into our schedules.  We can get so caught up in our own agendas and lives that we fail to see the needs, splendor, and glory around us. We can be caught up in our ipods, facebook, movies, TV shows, etc, that we fail to get involved in things that our beyond the scene of our own lives. We can let fear of the unknown get in the way of doing things that will stretch and grow us, but nonetheless things that will be good for us. What does it mean to lose our lives? To focus on something greater and bigger than ourselves? To simply reflect and embrace the moments of life without worrying about responding to a text message right away or keeping up with the latest facebook and twitter updates?

                What would our lives look life if we took a vacation? Went on an adventure without feeling the strong desire to capture every moment? What does it look like to lose your life so you can find it? How tragic it is that this man filmed his vacation, but “would never be in it.” He would never truly grasp the beauties and mysteries of life because he was so focused and intent on himself capturing every moment. Indeed, life is short and moments are fleeting. If we fly through life, we will never reveal in the beauty life has to offer. May we take the implied advice of Berry and allow it to reshape our lives. May we take time to reflect, put down our many gadgets, embrace precious moments and friendships, and truly live and experience all life has to offer. To view and to a part of things that are beyond our view so that we will find our lives. So that we won’t miss it. So that we won’t miss out on the abundant life God had planned for us.

Works Cited

1.      Home : Oxford English Dictionary. Web. 22 Feb. 2011. <http://www.oed.com/view/Entry/220896?rskey=boq07C&result=1&isAdvanced=false#>.

2.      "The Vacation by Wendell Berry | Loving Poetry | Eons.com." The Online Community for BOOMers | Eons.com. Web. 23 Feb. 2011. <http://www.eons.com/groups/topic/993230-The-Vacation-by-Wendell-Berry>.

3.        "Flying | Define Flying at Dictionary.com." Dictionary.com | Free Online Dictionary for English Definitions. Web. 23 Feb. 2011. <http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/flying>.

4.      "Boat." University of Michigan. Web. 23 Feb. 2011. <http://www.umich.edu/~umfandsf/symbolismproject/symbolism.html/B/boat.html>.

5.      "Preserve | Define Preserve at Dictionary.com." Dictionary.com | Free Online Dictionary for English Definitions. Web. 23 Feb. 2011. <http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/preserve>.

6.      Beiderwell, Bruce John., and Jeffrey M. Wheeler. Literary Experience. Boston, MA: Thomson/Wadsworth, 2009. Print.

Friendship for the sake of Companionship

Reflection Post in response to The Christmas Wife

Friendship for the sake of Companionship

                A while ago, I heard someone say that in a marriage, things will never be 50-50 between a husband and wife. Meaning, relationships are about give and take. One should not keep track of everything one does and make sure your spouse is doing the same number of things. The mentality should not be: “I took out the trash yesterday, so now you must take it out today,” or “I gave the kids a bath the last three nights so now it is your turn for the next three nights.”  In the same way for general relationships, score should not be taken as to who is contributing more to the relationship than the other. However, the truth is, most relationships are conditional and convenient. Understandably, like-minded, like-interested people usually are acquainted and develop strong friendships. Yet, even in the deepest, most solid friendships, there can be conditions or reasons to either love the person more or less. In a society that is mostly self-centered, the idea of simply having a friend for the sake of companionship can be overlooked and undervalued.

                In The Christmas Wife, Tanner’s wife dies so he will be spending Christmas alone; that is until he sees an ad in the paper for, “Social Arrangements.” He further inquires about the “Social Arrangements” and related to the arranger, “I live alone. My wife is dead. Christmas has become…what I require is a Christmas companion.” Essentially, Tanner was looking for a companion to spend the holiday with; someone his age,” not handsome or charming. But simply…agreeable.” Also, he wanted to be very clear, “the bedrooms are separate.” He was not looking for someone to be like his wife in every sense of the word, but rather someone to be around; someone to merely be present. He simply wanted,” the presence of a woman, simply her presence, to give it the seal of a Christmas past.”  From the point in which Tanner receives the woman and throughout the remainder of the story, Tanner takes care of her with great respect and reverence. When he notices she is ill, he offered to help do anything to make her well so she could enjoy Christmas. Even when he got a little bit frustrated, it wasn’t an elaborate, angry event, in that the text records, “He scolded her heartily,’ I want you well by Christmas’.” He didn’t get angry with her. He didn’t want her well so he could use her like prior men. He wanted her well so she could enjoy a joyous time. He wanted her well for her sake; not his. Since Cherry (the women) and her husband were unable to pay the bills, she had been involved with prostitution.  Thus, explaining why she expected for Tanner to treat her differently than he was. She was most likely used to being abused by selfish and unnerving men. Tanner lavished her with compassion, grace, concern, and regard. In fact, at one point Cherry says to Tanner, “You’re so good,” … “You’re so kind.”  In effect, she went so far as to say the time spent with him was,” …the loveliest time I’ve ever had.” Clearly, his love and compassion for her was extraordinary compared to what she was used to. More than likely up to this point, her life had been spent trying to please other people and earn a living by offering her body. This time, she had to do nothing but simply be present where she was; to live without having to give up something precious and valuable. She was able to live without worrying about meeting undesirable expectations. She was able to be. She was able to rest. She was able to live.

                The more I learn, the more I understand the attributes of great friends and friendships. Realistically, as people get other and continue on with their lives ,it is challenging to keep friendships strong and growing. Thus, one must be intentional about sustaining them. Thankfully, the closest friends in my life generally love me without condition. If I don’t talk to them for a few weeks, they don’t hold it against me. In fact, when my best friend calls and I don’t answer (which is most of the time), she takes it as a signal that I’m really busy or stressed, so she prays for me. She doesn’t hold it against me, but she supports who I am and who I’m striving to be. Other friends from high school- I won’t talk to them all semester, but our friendship will continue where we left off when we spend time together in the summer and Christmas time(s). Essentially, if I were constantly trying to earn their love, my life would be even more exhausting than it already is. To keep track of how many things they do or don’t do for you so you can match them or out do them, is a daunting and unfavorable task. Thus, the idea of simply having friends for the sake of enjoying faithful love and companionship; not based solely on what the other person can give or do for you, is a great blessing.

                May be not engage in relationships that are merely based on convenience or conditional. May we make a conscious effort to spend time with people simply for the sake of being together; not necessarily getting together to spend a lot of money, but taking time to take a walk or sit out of the grass and simply be together; to be in one another’s presence. May we be the kind of people who love others simply for the sake of loving; not for what we can get in return; not for our own selfish ambition or ulterior motive. May others says, “You are so kind” and “You are so good to me.”  May we not have desire relationships for our sake, but so that we can pour our love and grace into the lives of another. If we all have this mindset, then all of us will feel loved and served. We will all benefit. We will all make the world a little better; a little brighter.

                  

Longing to Live Freely

Problematize Post  - In response to The Story of an Hour

Longing to Live Freely

                We all have at least one thing in common with Mrs. Mallard. We all have heart trouble in one form or another. We struggle with an undesirable thing called sin. We do things we don’t want to do, and the things we want to do we don’t do. As Christians, we long to live a certain way; a pure and holy life. Yet, we are constantly faced with struggles and challenges. Relating to Mrs. Mallard, more likely than not, I believe everyone wants to live a freedom filled life. We long to be loved for who we are. We long to be loved unconditionally. We desire to dance unashamedly; to not worry about how silly or crazy we might look. We long to be accepted as ourselves.

                Nonetheless, we are constantly trying to maintain an image. We are so nervous to disappoint others and tarnish our image; to allow others to see us for who we really are. We are afraid that if people really knew all about us, they wouldn’t love us. If they really saw our hearts, we fear we would lose friendships; lose out on a chance to be loved. So we live our lives in a constant state of fear, worry, apprehension, and tension. We walk around holding our breath and trying to maintain an image. An image that tries to earns someone else’s approval.   

                The Story of an Hour presents an interesting paradox. As college students, the topic of dating and marriage is a popular subject. As young girls, most of us dream of falling in love and having a family someday. We are constantly scoping out those who seem to have common interests, are attractive, and who we think we could like. Unbeknownst to me, I’ve always struggled with being civil, kind and normal around people I like; struggled to be myself. Essentially, I get so nervous around the person I like to the point where I barely, if at all, talk to them when I see them. Why? Because I’m so nervous. I’m afraid to be myself. Why? Because I want them to like me, and if they see who I really am will they still like me? In my defense, it is probably not completely absurd to be nervous around someone you like, but I must learn to live more freely. The freedom I have in Christ is zapped because I live like I care more about what others think of me than what God thinks of me. I long to live freely.

                Conversely, in the story, Mrs. Mallard has already lived through the stage of falling in love and getting married. She has experienced some of the things that young girls look forward to experiencing. Yet, her freedom in marriage seems to be zapped as well. It seems to me that once you are married, the freedom to be yourself should increase. There isn’t a fear or need to worry about trying to win his heart or have him notice you. He has already chosen you, so why should there be as much worry to be loved and accepted once you’re married? I think once loved by a person of the opposite sex, one would be more free to worry less about appearance or about being treasured by them since after all they noticed us, loved us, and chose us.  Granted, marriage can be a struggle, and it isn’t always easy. But I desire for the person I marry to love me for all of me- all my junk, struggles, strengths, and weaknesses. I want him to love me without reserve or condition. In any case, isn’t that what love really is? Loving people not for  what they do or don’t do, but for who they are- a child of God. Jesus loves us while in our filthy sin. Are we not called to love like Jesus?

Nonetheless, ironically, Mrs. Mallard seems miserable in her marriage. She doesn’t seem to be at all free. She appears to be in bondage and suppression. In fact, it is after receiving news that her husband dies, she takes time to relax in her room and “when she abandoned herself a little whispered word escaped her slightly parted lips. She said it over and over under her breath: ‘Free, free, free’! The vacant stare and the look of terror that had followed it went from her eyes. They stayed keen and bright. Her pulses beat fast, and the coursing blood warmed and relaxed every inch of her body.” Once her husband died, she could finally abandon herself and utter the words, “free, free, free!” Clearly, she was in bondage in one form or another. She wasn’t free while married.

                  This is where I live most of my life. I am bound by my fear and worry of what others think. I so badly want to love people as myself and love God with all that I am. Yet, I let the view and opinions of others get in the way. I don’t want to disappoint people. I want to please people. But I also what to please the Lord. I want to maintain an image of living a life of joy, hope, and love. Yet, I also want to be real and realize it is acceptable to have a bad day; to not want to smile all the time. I more than anything else want to live a humble and freedom filled life. Yet, how do we truly live freely? Daily I struggle with living freely. How wonderful it must be to truly live freely! To be free to dance and sing and not care what other people think? To go to a church service and when the pastor asks you to clean out your ears with a q-tip, to not be afraid to do so for fear of what other people will think(referring to the renew chapel service last night)? I didn’t want to clean out my ears for fear of what would come out. Why? Because I was afraid of what people would think if gross wax came out of my ear. I worry about the opinion of others. I fear what others think about me.

                Mrs. Mallard later kept whispering, “Free! Body and Soul free!” I want to live freely. Jesus has set me free, but I don’t live as if I’m free. I love to run and frolic in the fields with my friends, but if the guy I liked was there I would probably just sit on the tree stump like a bump on a log and remain motionless. Ridiculous. There is no reason for this if I truly cared more about what God thought of me than a silly boy.

                So the questions regarding this story are challenging: how do we abandon ourselves to live so freely?  How do we rid ourselves of the things that steal our freedom? How are we able to relax every inch of our body? My mind and body is always tense; rarely relaxed. How are we to live in this freedom?  After realizing that her husband actually wasn’t dead, the story ends with this line : “When the doctors came they said she had died of heart disease- of joy that kills.” We proposed in class it wasn’t lack of joy that killed her, but perhaps her freedom being taken away. Since her freedom was gone she could not go on. Living a free life is healthy, wholesome, and overall how God intends for us to live. Jesus came to give us life and life to the full! We are not meant to live in bondage, fear, and worry all the time. Our souls long to be free. How are we to do this? How do we daily live and love others as ourselves? How do we live in such a free, carefree, loving way that we cause others to live freely as well? To feel like they too have permission to be completely who they are without fear of being accepted?

                Thankfully, we are not alone in our struggle to live freely. Not only has Jesus given his life to set us free, but scripture has a lot to say about freedom as well.

·         Galatians 5:1 says, “So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law.”

·         John 8:32 says, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth with set you free.”

·          John 8:36 says, “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”    

·         Romans 8:15 “For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.”

·         2 Corinthians 3:17, “Now the Lord is the spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”

·         Galatians 5:13, “You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.”

      A facebook friend of mine has a wonderful quote on his page which says, “As He died to make men holy, let us live to make men free.”  Christ not only died to make us holy, but he died to make us free. When we live freely, we encourage others to live freely as well. When every inch of our body isn’t tense and concerned about what someone else is thinking or how we are being viewed; when we dance and love freely, we call others to free lives as well. It is a calling to encourage others to be who God has created them to be. Miraculously, there is not a single other person in the world who is like us. God knit and crafted every human being to be uniquely different. Thus, we are the only ones who are able to be us the best. No one else can be like us. We are not called to be someone we are not. We are called to be more like Christ. In Christ we are free to love, free to serve, and tell others about the good news we have heard. Christ is calling us to live freely; to fall in love with him and be more concerned about pleasing him than pleasing others. More concerned about loving others deeply  and out of a pure heart, than maintaining an image. Christ has set us free. May we, by God’s grace learn to live more free every day; to say hello to the “man of your dreams” even if it scares you and makes you so nervous, to look them in the eyes when you are clearly crossing paths and say hello. But more importantly, to reach out to others in love; to start a conversation with a stranger(or friend you haven’t met yet), to see a need and have the courage to meet it and do something about it even if you’re afraid, to love someone and offer encouragement even if you feel completely uncomfortable. We are being called to freedom. We are being called to live like Jesus. Oh, Lord give us your strength and grace to live in the freedom you’ve given us.